somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
