it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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