Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
