I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
