Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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