got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sext me about skeletons
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
