people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
