So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
