p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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