My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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