I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
