weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I want a musical about memes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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