hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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