Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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