why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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