Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
