dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
