It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
