He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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