i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
