Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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