He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
