Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
