she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
