I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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