were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
