He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
