Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
