Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
His nipple licking is glorious
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