Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I've blown a few things in my day
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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