i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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