LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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