Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize