South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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