Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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