i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
