Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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