Duck Duck Cougar?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
