i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
handjob tips. give me some.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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