so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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