hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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