Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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