My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
