I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
