There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize