so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
