I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize