The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm sobbing to NWA
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
