it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
