so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
