4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
