So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
