I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize