He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
