its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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