I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
