I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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