I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Even my vagina gasped.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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