How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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