haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
